Gladys Wiggins, RN, BSN, MEd, MN

As you begin this new year, consider embracing things that you can control that may improve your physical and mental health. Be intentional about your choices.

This means, keeping in touch with your thoughts and feelings about your actions and what is going on around you. The key to being successful in this endeavor is understanding yourself, what you value and what is important to you.

We hear a lot about the negative impact of stress. It is true that stress affects every cell of your body and is implicated in the development of some physical illnesses. Additionally, what is stressful to one person may not be stressful to another.

All stress is not bad. A certain amount of stress is actually good for you. It helps you stay challenged and stimulated. An example is some parents go through a lot of stress to conceive and bring a baby into this world. Yet most say it was all worth it and they have no regrets. Without some stress, many people are bored, and unfulfilled. In fact, you cannot live without stress. While it is impossible to live totally stress-free, you can learn positive stress management and how to prevent stress overload.

Stress management is an important skill to develop because too much stress can lead to exhaustion and potentially lead to the manifestation of physical ailments. Difficulty concentrating, sad feelings, impatience, tension headaches, and other symptoms may develop. Long-term, too much stress for a prolong period may contribute to chronic health problems.

Unfortunately, negative coping skills gives temporary relief. This includes, negative thought patterns, distancing self from friends and family, drinking heavily, or using other drugs. Negative coping skills may compound the problem.

The first step is to identify what your stressors are and secondly, learn how to respond to them differently. This requires you to make conscious choices. Your choices are within your control.

In 2022, be intentional in how you manage stress in your life. Positive coping behaviors are beneficial to your overall health. Review the list of 12 positive coping behaviors below and highlight the behaviors you will intentionally adopt. Start with two or more and consistently use them at least six months. Write them out and post in your view. Add new behaviors progressively.

1. If you are easily irritated or angered, try working on becoming assertive and improve communication to manage anger. If you are unsure whether you are assertive or not, ask your therapist for the “Am I assertive?” Quiz.
2. Choose relaxation exercises to teach you to relax and control the physical response to stress. Taking a walk, listening to your favorite music or a long warm bath can also be relaxing and de-stressing.
3. Use one of the best resources around, the support of family and friends. You do not have to “do it alone.” Take time out for you. Schedule some down time for yourself doing something you like. Tell your family and friends exactly what you need or give specific directions. Loved ones will be happy to help make this a reality.
4. Concentrate on the things you can control and let go of those things that you have no control over.
5. Recognize and differentiate between “needs” and “wants.” Find healthy ways to meet your needs to cultivate balance.
6. “You have to be present to win” is true for life. Make sure you take an active role in your life – do not just let things happen to you. You are worth it … take control. Spend some well-earned time on yourself, doing something you like and quality time with loved ones and friends.
7. Put your inner thoughts into words by journaling. This may increase your tolerance to stress and enable you to see things from a different perspective.
8. Balance your life by the four-square method: Self-care and self- fulfillment, family and friends, work and service, and caring for your heart and spirit. Do something every day for 30 minutes that will help you become a better person.
9. Share your stress by talking it out with a trusted friend or therapist.
10. Set a goal to become more optimistic and approach situations more positively. If you begin to look for the good in every situation and every person, you will find it.
11. Laughter reduces stress. It is frequently referred to as “internal jogging”. Incorporate it into your daily life.
12. Get adequate sleep. Sleep reverses stress related physical changes.

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References

• American Heart Association, 2010, Stress Tips and Facts
• Glenda Williams, “Nine Natural Aids for Fighting Stress,” Today’s Black Woman, December 1997.
• Love Notes to Our Moms, 2007 Simple Pleasures, National Speaking of Women’s Health Foundation